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Premiere of Tableaus and the End (Beginning) of an Era…

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Last Saturday was an amazing and elating day for my career. I approached the premiere of my piece Tableaus with mixed emotions. I was never worried about the players getting it right and playing it well. I was just thinking about the heavy (although arbitrary) meaning placed upon this piece as a “dissertation piece.” Setting aside my constant bewilderment of the fact that there is actually a place in academia for creative works to be composed, premiered and discussed combined with the feelings of quasi-guilt that from actually collecting money the past years of my life by doing what seems natural to me. Well, kind of natural. When it comes down to it. It is actually really hard for me, to, you know “compose.” The fun outweighs the difficulty though. Anyway, setting that all aside, I am very conscious of the fact that the insulation of the academic environment (i.e. having professionals on hand to play your music, with professionals on hand to offer you genuine criticism, with a modest stipend that supports your habit, etc.) is going to be brutally stripped away from me in a few months. I become acutely aware of this as I continue to hear radio silence on the several job applications for what? You guessed it: academic jobs. I am trying to push this dream further into some other insulated environment. As disheartening as this is, what is more baffling to me is that I am without any ideas for my next compositional project and I am itching to write something again. So, in a fatalistic (i.e. unrealistic) error of thinking I say to myself: “This is it, this may be the last composition I write.” This was the baggage I brought to this premiere concert. On top of that, I was going off of little sleep and trying to keep my wits together since I was “the guy” that put the whole concert together from the ground up. Thank goodness for awesome colleagues like Peter Van Zandt Lane, Richard Chowenhill and Victoria Cheah for shouldering a lot of the burdens of such a huge concert that one guy simply cannot do. And I can’t even begin to say thank you to Laci, who fills the role of single mom and understanding wife beyond my comprehension. She is why I can even come close to amounting to anything.

After an amazing concert came this even more amazing realization. People care and we should care too. There were a lot of friends and even some family (a surprise visit from my Dad, who lives in Arizona and my cousin Dwayne) who came to this concert. My wife Laci should take all the credit for trumping this concert up a lot more than my modesty can muster. She got people out to this concert. She made it a big deal. And, it actually kind of was a big deal. The whole time I thought this was just another piece, but in the back of my mind I realized that this was also the piece that would end my “student era” and begin my “professional era.” It was what stood in the interstitial and uncomfortable space I spoke of earlier, where I felt that these were my last notes in complete comfort. For the first time in my many years (ever since high school) of writing music, I actually felt a real sense of accomplishment. Tableaus seems to genuinely capture who I am as a person and artist and I shared in this triumph with those who have mentored, supported and loved me throughout this journey.

A metaphor that I have turned to throughout this past year seems to capture my situation (and many that I know) in the most accurate way. When spending your whole life studying music composition in the comfort and insulation of the academic institution you are not prepared at all for what happens next. I feel that in exchange for my diploma I have to hand over the warm coat they (the institution) has given me all these years, to walk away naked thumbing my way to whomever or whatever will validate what I have done to allow me to do more. I know it is bleak, but it is what I am experiencing to be real. But, then, I realized something. Upon reflecting of the incredible outpouring of support that followed an equally incredible performance, I realized that I have actually had another warm coat this whole time. It is stitched together by all of the loving friends and family that believe in what I do without wholly understanding, the influence and encouragement of professors and teachers and of course, by my own hand: the belief that what I do is relevant and important. I may have to thumb some rides to the next destination but I will always be warm. So, was Tableaus my last piece? No, but the very threat of it being the last is enough for me to cherish each flash of creativity that comes to me from here on out.

With that being said, I have updated the LSTN page and the VIDS page with the brand spanking new recording and video of Tableaus for percussion quartet and digital playback. Clicking on this will give you the full score so you can follow along. Talujon knocked it out of the park. It was a sensational performance and I hope you get a chance to listen to it. Just a guide to the listening. Here is a breakdown of the movements and where each one falls in the sound/video file:

I. ephemera (0’00″, of course)
II. the persistence of…(2’30″)
–attacca–
interlude (9’11″)
–attacca–
III.Berceuse (12’06″)
IV. Automatonomnomnom (18’11″)

And, my program notes:
In this piece I draw from many eclectic resources (cultural and musical) that have been surrounding me throughout the compositional process. The first movement acts as an introduction where the music, upon near materialization, disappears into the ether. The second movement is almost like a perpetual mobile that keeps churning uninterrupted until it physically and acoustically reaches its limits. This limitation in the acoustic instruments is taken by the electronic sounds that give us a temporary respite from the acoustic world into something (interlude) that is seemingly “extra terrestrial.” The berceuse (third movement) tries to embody that interstitial space between dreams and lucidity. It also comes from a hallucinogenic experience I had as a boy when my mom gave me Tavist-D for the flu. The last movement purposefully abandons the world of pitched instruments and returns, in a way, to a sort of primal bacchanal with the appropriation of dubstep drum patterns as the major rhythmic component. I also use the voice of Alex from the Mac computer to say the word “automaton.” In a way “Automatonomnomnom” is both a play on the mindlessness that surrounds us in this world at an ever quickening (and maddening) pace and an homage to my favorite thing to do when not composing: eating treats (thanks Cookie Monster). This piece is dedicated to Laci and Berkeley. My two shining stars who unfailingly guide and inspire me.

A new look and dissertation business

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I’m about finished updating this site. Still have some video player issues to work out, embedded audio and score samples; but, overall, it is about ready. For now, I have a few irons in the fire. Most pressing is working on my dissertation stuff. I am working on my thesis where I am discussing the micro-universes of Kurtág’s Kafka-Fragmente, Op.24. I am also working on my dissertation composition which is a yet-to-be-titled percussion quartet. It will be premiered in March of 2012. Lastly, I will be working on a recording with the inestimable Bill Solomon. Hopefully that will be all recorded, edited and mastered before the end of the year. If you really want to follow what is going on with me (inane and interesting) you can follow me at Twitter or my oft-neglected blog.

BEAMS Marathon

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Almost a year in the making, finally, the BEAMS Marathon 2011 is upon us. Great players from all over, including past and present collaborators Benjamin Sung, Jihye Chang, Geoffrey Burleson, Jeffrey Means, Philipp Stäudlin, and Bill Solomon to name a few. Also, as a little preview, the lstn page has the premiere of Corps Sonore, with the video here. Thanks to Kirsten Volness and Jacob Richman for the audio recording.

A time for “firsts”

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There are some updates to the lstn page of the site. First of all, Posso Volare! can be found here and the live premiere recording of Flux Flummoxed can be found here. These are all very exciting recordings/projects for me primarily because they  Posso Volare! was my first foray into writing for a solo instrument with digital playback (or what is archaically known as ‘tape’). I have done some things with electronics/fixed media, but never with this much rigorous attention to synchronicity. Yohanan did an excellent job and was especially kind to allow a few studio recording (DIY-studio-recording) sessions to get a better take of the piece that surpassed the technical problems of the live performance. Flux Flummoxed is my first long form, multi-movement piece. It was an engaging process and was especially challenging. One of the best parts of the process was working with Ben Sung and Jihye Chang. They are patient, loyal and ambitious performers. Can’t wait to hear the studio recording (which they will begin recording in August). There are four movements to the piece with a break only between the third and fourth movement : I. Entropic March II. Momentum Perpetuum III. Electrostatic IV. Flux Capacitor. Below are the program notes for the pieces:

“Posso Volare!: Originally written for solo violin during the Alba International Music Festival in Italy about four years ago. It recently underwent some modifications to fit within the stylistic trappings of the tape and instrument genre. The title is a result of my bad Italian. I wanted to say ‘posso avere’ when asking for some acqua frizzante, but I said “posso volare.” The waitress humored me by pointing outside. Which is true, flying is really easier to do outside. “Hmmm. What a great title,” I thought. It turns out that the more I work with this piece the title is beyond autobiographical poetics. The piece does illustrate a semi-conscious desire to fly on behalf of both performance forces. At times this desire is fulfilled by one force doing what the other cannot do. Where one’s limitations begin, the other can take over and push the music somewhere else. Just like the violinist has physical/acoustic limitations (register, amplitude, timbre, etc.) the “faux-chamber” ensemble found within the electronics has limitless timbral/registral possibilities. Yet, the electronics are limited in the emotive spontaneity and flexibility that is only found in the innate “humanness” of the violin.” (April 2010)

“Flux Flummoxed: As I began this project I was preoccupied with the idea of the music moving in and out of stylistic boundaries—as if transported and transformed from its original form. However, it seemed that this movement inevitably became frustrated and/or undercut by interjecting gestures, sudden stillness, quick fades, or any combination thereof. As this ‘frustration’ of thematic/stylistic became more apparent—and became a governing factor of the work—I tried to piece together some short phrase that encapsulates this idea. The words flux flummoxed kept coming to mind. Put together as a phrase it seems almost like some non-sensical post-modern bricolage, but nevertheless kept popping up in my mind. Then, as chance would have it, I came across a 2006 article by scientist Phil Stauffer from Ground Water (a hydrogeology journal) with the title “Flux Flummoxed: A Proposal for Consistent Usage.” From this article and my amateurish look into physics and electromagnetism, a title was born (for which I thank Phil Stauffer for his like-minded cleverness).  Each of the movements represents some aspect of flux not as literal signifiers for extra-musical scientific phenomena (an impossible task); but rather, as sonic explorations that were aptly titled after the movements were composed. And, as a homage to the idyllic days of VelcroTM, pegged pants and time-traveling DeLoreans, the last movement (Flux Capacitor) fills my obligatory shout-out to popular culture that seems to run rampant in the ever-so-tightly-knit circle of contemporary music culture.” (April 2009)

wltz(loop)frgmnt(s) and a little discussion about typeface

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Just finished my piece for the Norfolk New Music Workshop.  Given my time constraints maybe it wasn’t the best time to try and mess with some new engraving ideas, but oh well. I am trying to making the score look sleeker and less “Sibelius-y” by using a few sans serif typefaces. The two I used the most in this score were Gotham Medium and Future Medium.  Gotham is a little less jagged and has a certain smoothness to it that really sticks out. However, the letters are spaced wide so it is hard to cram performance instructions without getting too small and unreadable. Futura tends to do the trick most of the time. It is kind of a never-fail font if you ask me. I would be interested in what people have to say about what typefaces they use in their score or if there are preferences for the default Times New Roman that is everywhere in Sibelius. Is this the case for Finale too? I haven’t used Finale for years.

On to a little bit about the music. Here is my working program note for the performers (not necessarily the audience–quite yet). I am gradually coming around to the idea of program notes written by the composer. But I have only come so far as conceding that it is more necessary for the performer to get inside the composer’s mind and pre-occupations than the audience. Anyway, here is the blurb:

“This piece was written for the Norfolk New Music Workshop sponsored by the Yale School of Music. I use the idea of the sweeping, broadway-esque waltz as a point of departure (along the lines of what you would hear in a pops concert). Departure is as apt and cogent as can be in this case. The ‘waltz’ theme as introduced in the very beginning of the piece with the strong agogic weight on the second beat doesn’t ever become more than a fragment–an ephemeral essence of something familiar to the ears. It makes various appearances throughout and is essentially recontextualized from a broad sweeping motive to a delicate and fragile fragment. In the middle of all of this are various loops that are sent into motion. They closely resemble the aspects or detritus of the waltz-like theme but become individualized and divorced from the feeling that began the piece. In a way, one can easily become disoriented as the music unfolds. Out of such disorientation come surprising moments of synchronicity and clarity, culminating in the reification of the waltz fragment (as mentioned above) in a more fragile, yet coherent state.”